Hurricane Irene

I'm sitting on my porch at 9am Saturday morning. It is quite calm out here at the moment and the neighborhood is quiet. I'm rather enjoying this time to myself but the range of emotions I've gone through in the past 24 hours are crazy.

I live in Oceanside and up until yesterday I was ready to brave the storm no matter what happened. Then at about 5 yesterday afternoon they announced that we were in a mandatory evacuation zone. I freaked, as did all my neighbors and we all came outside to discuss the situation. We live on a dead end block with 6 cottages. All of us are very close and as of Friday we had two generators and were planning what we would do on case of a power outage. It was agreed that we would get all of the refrigerators running and one house would be fully powered so that we could all cook and be together if the shit hit the fan. Yesterday was a gut check. We all discussed our options and in the end have decided to stay put. I'm not sure if it is the wisest decision but it's what we're doing.

As I thought about it yesterday I was scared. I'm not gonna lie I'm still pretty worried right now. But my decision to stay was mostly made because I am not leaving my cats behind to drown in my house. I know how ridiculous that sounds but I'm sure if you have pets you can kinda understand. I am mentally preparing for the worst. I'm pretty sure our main problem will be flooding, but honestly what can we do to prevent it. The wind I'm hoping will not be too bad. A few downed trees will suck but what can you do about it.

At this point I am gonna go secure some things and prepare for an interesting evening. Everybody be safe, and we'll all hopefully have a good laugh about this on Monday. Good luck people.

Earthquake

    I pretty much hate people. If half of them disappeared today I wouldn't be angry. But yesterday I became one of them when I felt my car shake like someone was jumping on my bumper.
    I am disgusted by how popular culture is well, popular. I watched one episode of Jersey Shore when it first came out and never again. Now everytime Thursday rolls around I want to delete my whole friends list because I know all I'm gonna read the whole night is how the situation did this, or how hot Jwow or whoever is. Then there are the quotes, "t shirt time" or "cabs here". Do you realize how dumb you sound? Get a shotgun and end it, please.
    How does this relate to the earthquake? Well, when it happened I jumped out of my car and joined in the hysteria of feeling a little shaking. I called Florida, I asked everyone what they felt, and immediately went to Facebook to post my experience. Then the reality started to set in that everything was getting blown out of proportion. It was a non event. Nothing got damaged, nobody was hurt. But turn on 1010 wins and you would think the entire east coast had fallen off the map. They were actually asking people on the street how it affected them. Every asshole had a story about how they had to evacuate their buildings, or how their office chair moved a quarter of an inch. Jesus people, we lived through 9/11, a tremor is nothing.
    I spoke to my friend Jeff who lives in L.A. and he was sympathetic. I wish he would have laughed at us but he's too nice of a guy, plus he lives in California where everybody is all laid back. Anyway, he sent me a video he shot of an earthquake they had in '94. It was horrific. I could not imagine living through that. He said he could never make fun of anyone who says they were scared when they are in an earthquake. I wish he was here for the ridiculous thing we had yesterday. He would have crucified us.
    Then there were the jokes. The first time I saw the patio table with the one chair knocked over and the caption "deviation from the DC earthquake" I chuckled. After the one hundredth time I hated it. If the event happened hours earlier and you just saw this picture, you are not funny when you post it AGAIN. And the hundreds of tweets and FB posts that said someone dropped something, or you just took out your junk and it hit the floor... Hang yourselves. No, really. Do it.
    So next time we have an event where it affects all of us but causes no ill effects, do me a favor and just delete me before you post. Ok, don't I still need to pry into all of your personal lives.
   
   

Chicken aligators, alien invasion, and Skynet

    I like to think of myself as a smart person. I mean compared to half the mouth breathers I see on a daily basis, I'm a genius. But then I read what some of these scientists are doing and man am I a simpleton.
    They made chickens into monsters. Literally, de-evolved them back to basically dinosaurs. I must say I'm looking forward to Jurrassic Park, except those spitting bastards that killed Newman. Really? Chickens with aligator snouts, I'll never look at fried chicken the same again.
    At NASA, because they have all this spare time on their hands, you know because we have given up on going to space, took the time to wonder what aliens would do if and when we encounter them. One scenario is that they will launch a preemptive strike and wipe us out because of our greenhouse gas emissions... Ok now I do believe we should all try to be a little "greener", but telling me aliens will kill me if I don't, now that's a new one. They also said that they may see a rapidly expanding population such as the human race could be seen as a threat. In other words, we're a virus. I knew Smith was right in the Matrix! I stopped reading the article right there because the beneficial things the aliens could bring would never live up to that bit of info.
    It's only a matter of time before judgement day so if your name is Sarah Conner, start naming your baby boys John. IBM has produced a chip that mimics the human brain. They say it could potentially help with tsunami warnings and make our computers even smaller in the future. You know what I see it leading to? Skynet. Yup, rise of the machines. We're all screwed so get over it. I for one am ready for some sort of apocalyptic fun. Just me?
    So what have I written all this for? To basically put myself in my place for calling myself a genius in the beginning. And to show you that science will eventually kill us by genetics, aliens, or machine. I also noticed that all those articles are out of the UK, so either they are paying attention or their full of shit. Either way, it keeps me ready for the inevitable fall of society. It has also taught me that I basically live my life through movies. How many friggin movie references can I fit into one blog? I am truly a dunce, enjoy the end of the world people. I will!

My first post

   First off I'd like to thank John LaSota for inspiring me to start this thing. I figure with all the shit I see on a daily basis, or the random thoughts that run through my skull it might interest well, probably nobody. But here it goes.
   I suppose I think writing my shit down will bring me some profound wisdom about myself but I'm sure I'll read most of them and delete them before they ever see the light of day. Fact is, I don't think I'm all that interesting and the things I find funny or cool most people will probably find odd. I mean come on, I watched the Addams Family yesterday and all of a sudden wanted to live in an old mansion and just be the town weirdo. But that's just who I am, at least in my head. I don't think people perceive me as odd, but that little voice in my head is always saying "Don't say too much" or "You're not saying enough". I just can't win.
   So we'll see if this is a one and done thing. I kinda hope not but like I said, most of what I write will probably be deleted before I hit send. Don't keep your hopes up.